War Stories: Kaylee's Story
by yellowrose437
Summary: An added scene at the end of War Stories. Mal thinks he knows what's bothering Kaylee, until she tells him what her part in rescuing him really was. Complete.


Malcolm Reynolds woke up with a start. Had he heard a scream?

It wasn't his own scream, though his throat was still sore from the screaming he'd done in Niska's torture room two days earlier. It sounded female. Mal rose from his bed, quickly pulled on clothes, and climbing the ladder, carefully opened the room's hatch. Looking side to side, he spied a form carrying a bundle headed aft.

Kaylee? She wasn't on duty. Mal paused for a moment, then climbed from his room and stepped into the corridor to follow. Might be nothing, he thought. Sometimes Kaylee checked the engines at odd hours, when she heard Serenity whisper that _something wasn't quite right_.

Still, something was not quite right with Kaylee. She seemed a bit down for certain; he hadn't heard a laugh from her in days. And jumpy; last night in the mess when Mal was talking to the preacher, Kaylee walked in, bumped into the table, and hurried out again. She'd looked almost frightened.

So, he was the captain. Sore as he was, he'd go check on her. Besides, after talking to Book and Simon, Mal thought he knew what the trouble was.

The engine room was dim, no real lights on, but the lighted dials put out enough glow to let him move around safely. He found Kaylee on the far side of the room, sitting on the floor, sobbing into a blanket held over her face. His heart fell, but he put some firmness into his voice.

"Kaylee, bad dream?"

She looked up, and wiped her face. "Oh, Captain, I'm s-sorry. I didn't want to wake folk up, 'specially not you." She paused, then said wearily, "Yeah, bad dream."

Mal carefully lowered himself to sit next to her, trying not to grunt as various injuries protested. "Tell me about it." When Kaylee stayed silent, he insisted. "Go on, talk it out. You'll feel better."

"Don't know if I'll ever feel better again," she sighed. "The dream, well, it was Niska's soldiers, they killed all of y'all, and, and I was left alone, then they found me and shot me right where I was shot before, and it hurt so bad but nobody was alive to fix it this time, and I knew...I knew it was all my fault."

Mal sighed and put his arm around Kaylee while she wept some more. "Well," he said, "that is a rough one. But it's kinda natural to have dreams like that after battle, 'specially when it's your first time killin' someone. I saw a lot of that in the war with new soldiers. And I'm real sorry you had to do that, it should never have been that way. I hired you to keep the ship runnin', not shoot people to save my sorry ass. Though I surely do appreciate it."

After a few seconds, Kaylee said very quietly "But I didn't do it. I didn't shoot anybody." She shivered.

Mal frowned, growing more concerned. Was she confused about what had happened? "Kaylee, Book told me everything. There were three soldiers dead in the docking bay that no one else shot. I'm sure they were shootin' at you, you don't have to be sorry you got them first."

Kaylee sighed again, and in a low voice said "Mal, let me tell you what really happened. Me and Simon and Book, we were guardin' the rear like Zoe said, then Jayne called out for someone to cover their back trail." Mal nodded, he knew all this. "And Book and Simon, they went down the hall a ways to do that. I suddenly realized I was all alone, and I couldn't stop shaking. I backed up toward the ramp to the ship. Then these soldiers, seemed like a bunch of 'em, came around the corner, and... and I didn't know what to do. I didn't _remember_ to shoot them. I was just so scared...they started shootin' at me and I, I turned around and ran up the ramp and hid! I didn't guard the rear! You could've all been K-KILLED because I'm just a COWARD! You were bein' all _tortured_ and stuff, and the rest of the crew was bein' all _brave_ , and I didn't do anything! You should just TH-THROW ME OUT OF THE AIRLOCK!"

Kaylee was crying noisily now. Mal saw more than one shadow at the door, but he had pushed it closed behind him and no one came in. This was much worse than he'd thought; however, he was going to have to handle it himself.

After a few minutes of letting her cry, he started talking.

"It's alright, Kaylee. Nobody's throwing anybody out the airlock, especially you. It'd probably get stuck and then there'd be nobody left to fix it." He paused, no response. "Come on. Half the soldiers in the 'verse piss themselves their first battle. You didn't piss yourself, did you? I mean, that's hard to get out in the laundry." Kaylee 'humphed'; clearly it was too soon to make jokes. "Kaylee, I'm not mad at you. And I'm the Captain, so I'm the only one that counts. I'm mad at myself. Like I said, you should have never been in that situation. You should be mad at me too. In fact, I'm ordering you to be mad at me."

Kaylee took a deep breath, and her body finally relaxed under his arm. Mal continued, "So here's what we're gonna do. _After_ a good nights' sleep, the next half-empty moon or planet we land on, we're gonna set up a range and do a little target practice. I think Simon needs it even more than you. Maybe Wash too." Kaylee smiled a small smile. "Then, if there _is_ a next time when the possibility of needin' to shoot someone comes up, which I hope there _isn't_ , you'll know you can do it, so you won't be so scared. How does that sound?" He gave her a little shake, and she replied "I'm sure that'll be fine, Captain."

Kaylee started to stand, but Mal stopped her. "You will have to clear something up for me, though," he said thoughtfully. "If you didn't shoot those soldiers, what happened to them?"

Kaylee settled back down, and looked away from him. "It was River. She came up to me from inside the ship. Looked down the ramp and saw the soldiers. Then she picked up the weapon I'd dropped, said 'can't look, can't look' and _she shot them with her eyes closed_. Three shots. I looked out and they were all dead. Then River says to me, 'no power in the 'verse can stop me'. She...she looked like a queen for a minute. Then Zoe and Wash and everybody came back with you, and River just went up into Serenity like nothing happened." Kaylee paused, then said sadly, "Now I'm a little scared of _her_ , too, and I know she knows it. Nothing's ever going to be the same again, is it?"

Mal sat in thought for a moment, then shook it off. "No, I don't reckon it will. But we'll think about that tomorrow. For now, you're gonna have to pull me off this floor, 'cause I don't think I can do it by myself." As she extended her hand, he looked in her eyes and said "We're all gonna help each other through this, Kaylee. We'll work it out together as a crew, because that's what we do."

Kaylee's laugh rang out. "You're rhyming, Captain. Guess you really do need more sleep." And leaning on each other, they made their way slowly down the corridor.


End file.
